Friends, Fics and Fun Stuff
by Teh Future Mrs. Kyo Sohma
Summary: A heap of challenge fics from my friends I decided to turn into a random and angsty series. Oneshots vary from genre to genre, so take a look. LATEST: [That's A Lie!]
1. Haru the Dyslexic Cow

**A/N:**

**This one is for Kawatta-nee-chan. Yay! Subject- "Dyslexic Cows".**

**Instant thought? Haru!**

**First in a… crazy series. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own FB.**

**Warnings: Language, OOC and lots of Dyslexic speaking.**

_Haru the Dyslexic Cow_

Haru Sohma was a nice kid. He went to a nice school. He had some nice friends. And some nice cousins. He had a nice teacher. And a nice classroom. But he had a nasty way of talking. And writing. Take a look.

"Mr. Me help teacher please," He asked his teacher, one Spring morning on the Wintery Summer of Autumn. Haru's teacher looked at him all funny like.

"What is this gibberish you're speaking! All you Sohma's; there's something wrong with you!"

Now, Haru was deeply offended by this, so he, being him, turned Black... Also being him.

"Bastard, you!" He bellowed louder than a train. "DYSLEXIC BECAUSE I JUST AM!"

"You're Dyslexic, Haru! I never knew… I'm so sorry!"

"LATE TOO BASTARD!" Black replied. "Girly Man The me calls HATSY! Makes me that angrier!"

And so, HATSY as The Girly Man would call him, killed the stupid teacher with a teapot, because they happen to be sharp if you sharpen them.

"And now, onto something completely different!" Haru wailed, as he turned back into White. "Hey, wait! I'm cured! I'm not cursed anymore!"

Then a random girl hugged him, because he's so maulable.

"Omm!" He mooed backwards. "Still Dyslexic I'm! Damn!"

"Does anyone have a napkin?" Asked Kyo, because he magically turned up in Haru's class.

"Why?" Asked a random boy, who had one in his pocket.

"This odd cow just pooped the floor,"

"Fcuk…" Haru mumbled.

End.

**A/N:**

**Woo!**

**Hope you like it Kawatta-nee-chan!**

**Got an idea for me?**

**PM.**


	2. AKITO! gasp, the Furry Bunny

**A/N:**

**This one comes from… x Fade x To x Black x Angel-san x.**

**Thanks!**

_AKITO!gasp, the Furry Bunny._

One morning, AKITO!gasp woke to find herself cold and on the floor. Then, she realized that she must have rolled out of bed. What a baka is she!

"What a baka am I!" She hollered as she stood up. AKITO!gasp then gasped in a very gaspable manor when she realized she was… A FURRY BUNNY. Then she giggled, because she was just holding her slipper in front of her face and looking in the mirror.

"What a baka am I!" She screeched so loud a window in YUN-CHAN'S bedroom shattered. AKITO!gasp was actually very proud. Then she remembered that her precious Yun-chan hadn't lived in that bedroom for years now.

"…What a baka am I," She flailed with a hint of angst. Angst was AKITO!gasp's middle name. She told Yun-chan so. Then, AKITO!gasp, being the furry bunny she is, picked up her Panic! At the Disco CD and slipped it in.

"What a baka am I!" She attempted to sing along to the words which weren't that at all. Hatori wished at this point that he had never bought the damn CD for AKITO!gasp. Now she wouldn't stop. Gasp.

"What a baka am I!" Hatori mumbled to Kureno's left, middle, ass cheek. You see, he has five. Why? AKITO!gasp made Ayame give him plastic surgery. Cool, huh?

AKITO!gasp then gasped properly, because, whilst singing the part where she screams as loud as she can about dying from nitroglycerin poisoning, she noticed the SHOCKING TRUTH. She really was a… FURRY BUNNY!

"What a baka am I!" She suddenly squeaked like Yun-chan would in his TRUE FORM-GASP!. Yeah. How could she have never realized before that she wasn't holding a slipper in front of her face!

"What a baka am I!" Yun-chan suddenly called from outside the window. He wished he never called Kyo a 'baka neko' now, because AKITO!gasp wouldn't stop saying the word baka, even though this story is in ENGLISH GODDAMMIT.

"For God sakes, this story is ridiculous!" AKITO!gasp mauled as she walked down the fall as a FUZZY BUNNY. "Who made this all up? I can't take this crap anymore!"

And so Hatori gave her a tablet that woke her up from the terrible nightmare that was being a FUZZY BUNNY and going without Yun-chan for long periods of time.

Four or five days later, AKITO!gasp raised. She blinked. Was that… fur on her face?

**A/N:**

**Gasp! **

**Was she a bunny the whole time?**

…**Whoa.**


	3. Cheer Up, Emo Kitty!

**A/N:**

**Inspired by a friends display picture on MSN, so it was kind of her idea.**

**Go her!**

**I own nothing. I don't even have that picture in my collection. (tear)**

"Cheer up, emo kitty!"

From his position on the floor, slumped against the wall, Kyo didn't even look up. He didn't care much for stupid things. Such as what Shigure had to say about anything. His new attire had shocked Sohma House and people on the street. He had tipped his hair black and got both of his ears pierced multiple times.

"…Eh," He muttered in reply, his tongue ring flashing into view only slightly. Shigure chortled back a laugh.

"I thought only girls wore make up!" He giggled.

Well, Kyo didn't much think of it as make up. All he did was use eye liner! He couldn't find anything else to create odd looking stains on his face in black. Of course, accepting the fact nail polish and lipstick was actually a form of make up, was hard for him. So he ignored Shigure.

"You're girlier than Yuki!" Kyo's eye twitched. Who the Hell did Shigure think he was? Some sort of saint, which could cop that kind of treatment and not lash out? Trying his best to contain the fact his blood was boiling, Kyo slouched against the wall harder.

"Haha… I'm sorry Kyo, but you really DO look ridiculous. What made you decide to have an obsession with black, anyway?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Kyo growled softly. As a matter of fact, he did it because, basically, every teen goes through that kind if stage. It wouldn't be long until he didn't care for black and went back to his old khaki pants. Oh, how he missed them…

"Yes actually, I would. That's why I asked!" Shigure laughed hysterically before slapping Kyo's head and ran away. Kyo rolled his eyes and wandered off. With each step he took, all the random paraphernalia he had stuck to himself clanked loudly.

"Well," Kyo said to himself. "At least I'll never get lost,"

**A/N:**

**Well. That was fascinating. **

**I'm starting to get like that.**

**Almost everything I wear is black.**

**(huddles to wardrobe)**


End file.
